KIDS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE: A KID STORY

Therapeutic Characteristics

Problems Addressed

■ Feeling helpless

■ Feeling powerless

■ Seeing what you can’t do

Resources Developed

■ Caring for others

■ Acting with kindness

■ Believing you can help

■ Taking the first step

Outcomes Offered

■ The joy of caring

■ Discovery of your own abilities

■ The rewards of kindness

I am sure you have heard the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears—but have you heard of Grandpa and the Four Bears? When Goldilocks visited, a long time ago, there were only three bears. Now there are four—Little Bear, Big Brother Bear, Mama Bear, and Papa Bear. Since Goldilocks’ visit, Grandpa Bear had come to stay with the Bear family, too. He was a frail old bear whose coat had turned gray, whose paws shook when he tried to eat, and whose shoulders bent forward as if he was tired of standing.

Little Bear loved Grandpa Bear. Grandpa Bear always listened to Little Bear when everyone else was too busy rushing off to gather honey or something. Grandpa Bear would never say “No” when Little Bear wanted to sit quietly on his lap and be told a story . . . and Grandpa Bear had some great stories. Little Bear also felt sorry for Grandpa Bear, whose paws shook so much at times that his spoon might miss his mouth and spill porridge all over his fur. Sometimes he would drop his bowl on the hard floor, smashing the bowl and making a big mess.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear would get annoyed with him. Apart from the fact that he was breaking the all bowls Goldilocks had made famous in her story, they had to clean up after him. “As if there isn’t enough for us to do already,” they would complain. Big Brother Bear would say things like, “Grandpa Bear’s got CRAFT’s disease—He Can’t Remember A Flaming Thing,” and laugh out loud. Little Bear knew Big Brother Bear was teasing her, but still it hurt and she hated him for it. She wanted to help Grandpa Bear, but what could she do? One day when Grandpa Bear had dropped his bowl yet again, Little Bear got down on the floor and picked up all the pieces. She then asked Papa Bear if he had any glue.

“Why do you want glue?” asked Papa Bear. “So I can stick Grandpa Bear’s bowl back together and keep it for you and Mama when I have grown up,” answered Little Bear. Papa Bear quietly sat back in his Papa-Bear chair and looked at Mama Bear in her Mama-Bear chair. For a moment they just looked at each other. After that Little Bear noticed they were kinder to Grandpa Bear. They bought him a special grandpa plastic bowl that wouldn’t slip off the table so easily and wouldn’t break if he did drop it. They didn’t seem to care so much if he spilled porridge down his fur or made a mess on the tablecloth. They talked to him more and listened to his stories, even if they had heard them before.

So our story has a happy ending. With thanks to Little Bear, Mama Bear and Papa Bear were happier. Big Brother Bear . . . well, he was much the same as he always was. Grandpa Bear was certainly happier. And Little Bear was happier, too.

KIDS CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE: A TEEN STORY

Therapeutic Characteristics

Problems Addressed

■ Feeling helpless

■ Feeling powerless

■ Seeing what you can’t do

■ Having goals too high or too distant

Resources Developed

■ Appreciating what you have

■ Caring for others

■ Looking for solutions

■ Sharing what you have

■ Believing in your abilities

■ Building resources step-by-step

Outcomes Offered

■ The joy of caring

■ Discovery of your own abilities

■ The values of community

■ The rewards of kindness

You know, sometimes when you are a kid, it is easy to feel pretty helpless or powerless. Indeed, if you stop and think about it, there are so many things that you can’t do. You can’t stay up as late as your bigger brother or sister. You can’t play sports as well as your football or basketball heroes. You can’t do some of the stunts that other kids do at the skate park. You can’t get the results at school that your parents seem to expect that you should. Sometimes it is hard to see that you even have the potential to develop any of these abilities. How could you ever get to be a league football player when you fumble every time you try to pick up the ball? 

What you want to achieve may seem such a long way in the future that it feels you will never reach it. Well, I once heard an inspiring story—a true story, I believe—about a boy named Trevor. It shows there are little things kids can do that make a big difference. One night Trevor was doing what a lot of other 13-year-old kids would be doing: He was watching TV. On the news he saw a story about some homeless people sleeping out in the cold on the streets, in a downtown area of Philadelphia where he lived. Trevor had never really stopped to think how fortunate he was to live in a fairly well-to-do suburb of the same city. The story of the homeless people touched his heart and he began to wonder what he could do to help these people.

It might have been easy for Trevor to forget about it. There are so many sad stories that you see on TV at times. This could have been just another that he ignored. Trevor also might have thought, Well, what can I do about it? I’m just a kid, but he didn’t. Instead he began to wonder how he might help and that led him to remember there were some spare, unused blankets in their garage. So he went to his father and asked if he could take them to the people downtown who had no homes to go to for the night. Trevor’s father might have thought the request a bit strange. It is easy for us to want to hang on to the things that we have, easy for adults to think that they’ve worked hard to get what they own, so why should they give it away? I guess it is much the same as a kid thinking, It took a long time to save up my pocket money to help buy this new bike, so why should I lend it to a friend who needs to get home in a hurry?

Now, Trevor’s dad was a kind-hearted guy. He drove Trevor downtown to hand out their few surplus blankets to some of the people on the streets. I guess when it came time to curl up and sleep that night the people were pretty happy for the added warmth of the new blankets. Trevor was happy, too. He felt good about giving out the blankets. He felt an inner warmth, almost like he had been wrapped up in an emotional blanket himself. But he realized there was a risk— it might feel so good that you’d want to do it again. The next day Trevor went to his local grocery store and other public places in his neighborhood where there were notice boards. He put up signs asking for people to donate any spare blankets or food they didn’t need. The result was surprising. Kindness was contagious. 

Trevor found so many people were willing to help that within a week he had filled his dad’s garage with food and blankets. What Trevor had started with his kindness grew and spread throughout the community. It wasn’t long before people’s generosity overflowed from his dad’s garage and Trevor and his dad had to look for a bigger building to house all the gifts being donated. Would you believe there are now a number of special warehouses throughout Philadelphia that stock food and blankets to feed and warm the homeless? They are all called “Trevor’s Place.”

FEED WHAT YOU WANT TO GROW

Therapeutic Characteristics

Problems Addressed

■ Feelings of inner conflict

■ Struggling between others and self

■ Kindness versus greed

■ Love versus hatred

Resources Developed

■ Developing awareness of the conflict

■ Separating out the struggle

■ Nurturing what you want to grow

■ Building responsibility

Outcomes Offered

■ Nurturing yourself

■ Nurturing positive values

■ Finding resolutions for inner conflict

A grandfather sat down on a rock in the sunshine beside a babbling stream with his grandson. “Tell me a story,” asked the grandson. “This is a story about two wolves,” said the grandfather. “As we grow up it sometimes feels like there are two wolves inside us struggling to take control. You might imagine the first wolf with soft gray hair, a kindly look in its eyes, and maybe even a gentle smile on its mouth. It is a wolf that hardly ever bares its teeth and is willing to stand back to let the little ones feed. We might call this the wolf of peace, love, and kindness, for the wolf thinks that, if we all live peacefully with each other, every animal and every human will be a lot happier.

“For this wolf, love is what matters more than anything else. You see, it knows that without love our world of animals and humans would cease to exist. It is because a mother loves her baby that she cares for it, feeds it, clothes it, shelters it, and protects it from danger. We arrive in the world as an act of love and we grow through the love that parents show us. We long to be loved and our lives are nurtured and enriched when we love and are loved in return.

“The wolf, too, seems to know that kindness is part of that love. When we are kind to others they are likely—though not always—to show kindness back to us. Smile at someone and there is a good chance they will smile back. Go out of your way to be helpful and the one you help is more likely to help you when you need it. Wolves are a bit like humans and live in groups. They mix with each other and, generally, feel better when they are mixing in a warm, harmonious way.

“But,” continued the grandfather, “let’s imagine that there is another wolf in the pack who doesn’t think the same way. This wolf has a really mean, nasty face. It pulls back its lips at times to bare its teeth threateningly toward other animals. When it does they usually feel fear rather than love and respect, for this is the wolf of fear, greed, and hatred. Maybe it is frightened or afraid, and that’s why it’s always on guard. Unfortunately, it hasn’t learned that by being so angry or aggressive to others, by thinking of who or what it hates rather than who or what it loves, it builds a lot of bad feelings in itself and among the other wolves. This wolf is out for number one, whereas the wolf of peace, love, and kindness is looking out for others’ happiness and well-being as well as its own. “As you can imagine, two such wolves in a pack might be in a struggle to see which one gets its way. The wolf of peace, love, and kindness wants to share those values with everyone, but the wolf of fear, greed, and hatred cares only for itself. It feels bad in itself and leaves the others around it feeling bad.

“Let us continue to imagine,” said the grandfather, “that two such wolves are in a struggle inside you.” The little boy looked up at his grandfather, wide-eyed. “Which one will win?” he asked eagerly. The grandfather looked down, kindness in his eyes, softness in his voice, and answered, “Whichever one you feed.”

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

It was a fine Sunday afternoon. Nine-year-old Rohit helped his mother clear the table, after lunch. "Ah, that's a job, well done, my boy!" his mother patted him. Then she said, "grow up quickly, my boy. Then you too can do many other things like carrying out minor repairs as your Papa does. How I wish your Papa were here! But, no, he is on tour most of the time. I now have a leaking tap. The plumber never turns up for odd jobs, even if I tell him a dozen times.

"I can do it, Ma/' Rohit offered. "Oh, no," she yawned and moved to the bedroom for a nap. Soon she was fast asleep. Rohit told himself, "Setting the tap right should be easy. I have watched Papa doing it a number of times." He remembered the steps, "Pick up a spanner. Tighten it round the neck of the tap. Unscrew the tap. Replace the washer. Put the head back in place and screw it tight." It looked quite simple. Rohit tip-toed to the shelf at the rear veranda, picked up the tool box and ran to the bathroom. The tap was leaking. Rohit pulled out the wrench, set it round the neck of the tap and tightened its jaws. Then he tugged, with all his strength. The head refused to budge."What would Papa have done?" Rohit thought. Then he remembered, "He would hit the free end of the spanner with a heavy stone."

He did that. The stone landed on his thumb. He winced with pain. Tears welled up in his eyes. Then he controlled himself, "I must do this job. Mamma expects it of me." He hit again. This time he was successful. The tap turned. Water gushed out. Rohit got drenched. But he did not mind that. Then he got a real shock when the head of the tap, pushed by the gushing water flew in to space. It hit the wall and bounced back into Rohit hitting him on the tip of his nose. "Ouch!" he sobbed. Meanwhile the head of the tap dropped down, rolled along with the water and got stuck into the outlet. Rohit groped around, as the water began to rise in the bathroom. He tried to prise the head out. But he could not. Water gathered in the bathroom. Soon his feet were under water. "What shall I do now?" he wondered.

He decided to use the screw driver to prise the head out. That was when he heard his mother bellow, "Hey, Rohit. What are you up to?" She caught hold of him firmly and dragged him out, saying, "What do you know of this job?" "But, Ma, I have seen Papa doing it, several times," Rohit mumbled. "So what. Your knowledge is incomplete. You should have done this first," she cut off the supply of water by closing the main valve. Then she managed to clear-the blockage. Water drained out.

"See the mess you have created...." She stopped on noticing the swollen thumb and the red nose and growled, "The bathroom is now a pool. And your thumb and nose are a bloody mess." She led him to the medicine chest and dressed up the wound telling him, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Remember that. Always."

A greased mouth cannot say 'no'

The commander led his men. They laid siege to the fort. They kept watch, round the clock. None could get away from the fort. "The defenders need food and water. They may have some food and water in stock. But that won't last long. The fort will fall soon," said the commander to his close associates.

The siege continued. Even after a month, there was no sign of panic on the part of the defenders. The commander however remained cool. "Victory will be ours," he said confidently. That night, he rode away, to the neighbouring town. He reached a house, set on the outskirts of the town. He knocked. Someone asked, "Who is there?" The Commander introduced himself. The door opened. "Come in," said the host, not showing much enthusiasm on seeing the guest.

"You don't seem to be happy to see me," the commander stared at the host. "You know the reason. I was once an official at the fort. I have retired. I have settled down here, far from the fort. If the news that I have met you, reaches the defenders, sounded scared. will be a dead man," he "Well, I won't stay even a minute more than is necessary. I have helped you with funds several times when you were working at the fort. I never asked you for any favour. Now I want it. Tel I me, is there a secret tunnel to the fort?" the commander waited for an
answer. "I ... Well ..." the host stammered.

"Tell me. Or I will send to your master the documents to prove that you have taken bribe from me. That will be the end of you." The host reluctantly gave the information. The commander rode away, telling himself, "A greased mouth can never say NO." Next day, after dusk, he led a few soldiers to the mouth of the tunnel. He directed them to sneak in and take the men who were at the main gate. The men at the gate were taken by surprise. The drawbridge came down. The attacking army swarmed in. Soon the fort fell.

A friend in need is a friend indeed

Sudama was a poor Brahmin. He and his family lived in utter poverty and misery. For days together, they had very little to eat. They often slept without having any food at all. Sudama cursed himself for not being able to provide for his family. The thoughts of committing suicide often crossed his mind. Once in a fit of depression he voiced histhoughtsto his wife. She tried to console her husband and then, reminded him of his friendship with Lord Krishna—the King of Dwarika. As children Krishna and Sudama had lived and studied together in Sandipan Muni's Ashram. "Go to him", she pleaded, "Krishna is all powerful, kind and generous. 

He will surely help you in this hour of need". Sudama hesitated, "He is a King and I'm just a poor wretched Brahmin. How can I visit him?" "So what!" she countered, "friendship is above class differences. You must seek his help. I can't see our children dying of hunger." Finally Sudama agreed to visit Krishna. His wife borrowed some rice from neighbourhood and gave it to Sudama as a gift for his friend. Sudama started on his journey. At the Palace gate, the guard refused Sudama an entry inside. Sudama argued that he was an old childhood friend of the King and wouldn't leave without seeing him. The word of commotion reached Lord Krishna. As soon as he heard Sudama's name, barefooted Krishna ran out to meet his friend. Both the friends embraced each other and shed tears of joy. Then with great honour and ceremony Krishna led Sudama inside the Palace. There, he himself washed and dried the dirty and bruised feet of his friend and made him sit on the throne. 

Krishna's wives themselves attended on them, as the two friends ate and talked of the old days at their teacher's ashram. During the course of meal Krishna asked Sudama, "What gift have you brought for me?" Sudama was too embarrassed to bring out the little poor quality rice tied up in an old rag. But Krishna snatched the bundle from him and ate the rice flakes with great relish leaving his own grand royal feast. After the meal Krishna made Sudama lie in his Kingly bed. He himself sat there massaging his tired feet, until Sudama fell asleep. 

Next day, Sudama took leave of his great friend. Krishna along with his family bade him a loving farewell at the Palace gate. All this while, Sudama could not bring himself to reveal the real purpose of his visit. He left without doing so. His heart was heavy as he walked towards home. He didn't know what to tell his wife and children, who must be eagerly awaiting his return. The hungry faces of his family haunted him, on his way back.

But a pleasant surprise a waited him at home. A beautiful palace stood in place of his poor broken hut. His wife and children dressed in silken clothes and jewellery greeted him at the gate. Krishna had blessed their lives with prosperity. He had also saved Sudama from the humiliation of asking for anything. Krishna was a great friend indeed, who came to his friend's rescue in his hour of need.